Monday, December 29, 2008

Disappointment

The doctor called last week. He wants to start a handful of patients at the same time for ease of keeping up with everyone. I thought it sounded like a good idea, too. However, we aren't going to start until January 30! That is the frustrating part. I want to get this going.

The Paxil was cut back to 10 mg a day. It seems to be working for me. I can't believe how relaxed I am now. I could have used it a few months ago...


Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Started antidepressants

I started Paxil yesterday. Since Interferon caused depression, I opted to pre-treat. I feel like a zombie, however. I may have to decrease the dose. Due to start treatment around Dec. 29.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

I cried today. It was at my women's bible study small group. We first meet in a large group and watch a DVD of Beth Moore and then break off into our small groups. This study is about God's unmeasurable love. I told the group that I will be going through a valley soon. I told them about Hepatitis C and there is a brutal treatment that I must undergo. Paige, the small group leader, prayed for me right then and there. Others prayed after her. It was so wonderful. At times like these, I wish I wore waterproof mascara.

From Psalm 103:

1 Praise the LORD, O my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2 Praise the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits-

3 who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,

4 who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,

5 who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's

God will get me through this and I remember Romans 8:28 at this time which says:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Same ole, same ole...

We drove to Boston this past weekend to see a specialist at Massachusetts General Hospital. I felt like it was a total waste, but my husband felt like we needed to do it. I'm still tired from the trip. I am going to see my GI doctor next week and discuss everything. I most likely will start treatment after the holidays. A pill at breakfast and a pill at dinner and an injection once a week for 6 months. It could be worse, I could be doing this for a year. Thank the Lord, that I'm genotype 3a.

Fears:
I will get so sick that I have to be hospitalized.
That my kids will have to grow up too much in those six months.
That the virus won't be cleared.
That I get liver cancer someday.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I'm feeling down today. I had an EGD yesterday and a HIDA w/CCK two weeks ago. The GI doctor still thinks the pain was from my gall bladder even though the ultrasound showed no stones and the HIDA was not exactly normal or abnormal. The good news is my stomach is fine.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Good news!

I saw the gastro doc and he was very encouraging! Looks like treatment will start after the holidays and the HIV came back negative. A huge sigh!

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Promising news....

I received a letter from my primary doctor today. I have genotype 3a. This is good news (so to speak). It is one of the subtypes that responds to interferon treatment and I think it is a 24 week cycle. Yay! Still waiting to see the gastroenterologist, however...

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Doctor's appointments

I have scheduled my specialists appointments for the initial visit. They book really far out but I figure it will be OK. I'm not as worried as I was a week ago. Then again, I don't know what is going to happen. I told my sister last night and we aren't telling anyone else in the family. She said that it wouldn't do any good and my parents would be worried about it. She is a family practice doctor.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Not ready to tell all my friends...

This evening our family went to one of the mom's house for a cookout. It was a lot of fun. The kids played and the parents were able to visit. The husbands never get to meet so this was nice.

As we were making our way out, the hostess asked me if they ever figured out what was going on with me. I lied. I haven't even told my parents or siblings yet. There are 3 of my friends that know and my husband told 3 friends of his. But other than that, I'm not ready to divulge information to this group. I wonder what they will think or how I will be treated. I just told her they were still running some tests. I'm not good at lying. I'm sure she could tell.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

That explains it...

About three weeks ago, I was driving to DC to see a friend. We had gone to HS together, and after many years reconnected. Our kids get along and our husbands do, too. I was driving with the kids on a Wednesday evening. I had worked that day at the hospital and after lunch started feeling kind of "yucky". I was having some nondescript pain in the abdomen. I was determined to go to DC. So, after the kids had their swim lessons that evening, we set sail. I wasn't hungry--in fact, the thought of eating turned my stomach. I started on the journey around 7 pm. I figured we would arrive at my friend's house around 11 pm.

The pain would come and go and nausea would accompany it. I finally made it to a Starbucks because I was so tired that I needed coffee. It was around 9 pm. The kids were great but it was taking all I had to keep my composure. After getting our beverages, we climbed in the car. I was in so much pain at this point that I broke out in a sweat. The thought of coffee made me feel even worse but I knew I was so tired that I couldn't drive on without caffeine. I finally decided that I had to stay in a hotel for the night. I just needed to lie flat. I booked a room across the street. The kids understood that I was not feeling well. I turned on the TV and let them watch cartoons while I concentrated on not throwing up. I just stayed perfectly still on the other bed. Eventually, I fell asleep around 11 pm but was awoken with a horrible feeling around midnight. It hit me-I was about to throw up. Luckily, I made it to the trash can. I soon felt a little better but was exhausted. I fell asleep.

About a year ago my husband and I hosted a dinner party. We love to cook and entertain and wine is always part of that. But after that dinner while I was cleaning the kitchen, I told my husband that I felt like I was going to throw up and needed to lie down. I assumed that I had drunk too much wine. It took about two hours for the pain to go away. Was that the beginning for me?

I used to work as a phlebotomist years ago when I was in college. I did have an incident where I was stuck with a needle. The year was 1991 or 1992. At the time I remember thinking "that didn't break the skin. I'll be all right." I know now that they couldn't have tested me for Hep C back then anyway. Was that my exposure?

I was married before, too, and between marriages I did have unprotected sex with two different men (not during the same time period however). One of the guys had done cocaine in the past but said he never shot up. Now, I wonder if he had it and my exposure came from there. I will never know where this came from.

So, this is my new blog. I will write about my experiences and feelings. I don't want this to consume me but I am feeling the effects of having a "worried mind." It will be good to put my thoughts down.

Oh, I never made it to DC that week. I woke up the next day, showered and drove home. I made an appointment with my family practice doctor. He ordered an ultrasound for the next morning which showed no stones. Up to that point, he (an well as I) was convinced my gall bladder was to blame. I had liver enzymes drawn and my ALT and AST were elevated. Nothing else was high. A few days later I had my blood re-drawn and the enzymes were even higher. I checked it out on the web, along with my symptoms, and everything pointed to Hepatitis C (HCV). So, a few days later when I was in the doctor's office to discuss the results and a plan I asked him if he thought it could be chronic hepatitis C. He said I didn't fit the group that gets it. I asked him to check it out and a few days later I found out I had antibodies to hepatitis C. I had gone to DC on the weekend (I was feeling better by then) and he called my house on a Sunday to give me the news. My husband called my cell phone and I called the doctor back at his house to get the results. He was shocked but deep down I had felt like I knew it for a couple of weeks. He drew a RNA/viral load and it was 8228. When I read the symptoms of Hep C on line, I just knew that was what I had. I am so glad I mentioned it to the doctor.

I am now waiting to hear from the gastroenterologist's office to see when I will have my consultation. I am anxious to get that meeting going. I haven't told my family or my husband's family. I want a few more answers and a plan before I go down that route. I know they will have a lot of questions and right now, I don't have the answers.