18th week on its way....

I took my 18th shot last night. I'm tired today but I did stay up later than usual last night. So, 6 more shots to go and then a week of pills after that. I see the doctor next week for a follow up. I'm feeling good just tired.

I do have a softball game on Monday night and I have to work Monday at the hospital. I'm worried I won't be able to run the bases since I get winded so easily. I don't want them to know about the Hepatitis C, but I don't want to miss softball, either. I'll just have to give it a shot and see if it is doable.

I worked this past Thursday and loved being at the hospital. When I work, I realize just how much I love it. Being a stay home mom is not for the faint of heart. I think I need the adult interaction!

Taste Buds coming back?

We had pizza last night. We buy the dough and toppings and make it on the grill. I was sampling some olives last night and there was an explosion of flavor. I think my taste buds are coming back. It will be so good when it's all back to normal. The food popped with flavor! Yay!

7 weeks to go...

I had my 17th shot last night. 17th! I look back, and can't believe how fast it's gone. I'll be honest, there were days when I thought I would never make it. And for me the depression is what makes it hard. But now that the anti depressants are at the right strength, I feel like I can handle the next few weeks.

My husband got back yesterday from New Zealand. He took the kids out this morning so I could have some time alone. It's been a while since I've been alone and I'm looking forward to it.

I did have a scare last night. I was out of medicine yesterday for my evening ribas and the interferon injection. The UPS guy showed up around 6:30 pm. Phew! That was a little close.

My husband returns from New Zealand tomorrow. The trip to NZ was good for me. I managed to get out of the blah and boring and pity party routine that I had succumbed to with this treatment. The 20 mg of Paxil kicked in, along with the trip and my psyche is feeling stable and happy. I hope I can maintain this with the man returning--he can be my worst critic.

This week as a single parent has flown by. My son turned 5 today and my daughter has been more helpful and pleasant. I actually feel like I've got some control over my life--even if it might be an illusion.

I met with my lady friends from the small group Bible study today. I love this group of women. There are a couple of women with grand kids and then myself with young ones. Then there are women with children in between old and new. I do get some energy from being around these like-minded women. It's great to study about God's love and remember that I'm special because of Him. When I need to feel secure and loved, I need to look to Him. It's too much of a burden on my husband and friends to be what I need. It's simply too much to ask of them. I need to lean on the one that will never let me down (thanks, Pat, for reminding me a few posts back).

My 17th shot will be tomorrow night but my Pegasys is not here yet! It seems the insurance company needed another authorization. Yep, I'm responding to the treatment and I have to be approved again. This does not make sense to me. My doctor's office came through for me and the stuff will be delivered tomorrow sometime. I guess the insurance company was hoping they wouldn't have to pay for any more drugs. I've got news for them.

So, that's it for now.

Had a good day...(it really can happen)

I'm not posting as much lately. I am still catching up with the mail, kids, laundry, etc. With that said, I loved New Zealand and if I had realized how wonderful it was, I would have moved there after my last marriage. It's so far away but everything is there so you don't need the rest of the world.

The Molly Maid service came today. I can't tell you how good it felt to be getting my house cleaned (and not by me). My daughter was home because she threw up in the night so I told her we had to stay out of their way. We ended up running errands and grocery shopping. The break from the routine has been good for my 6 year old daughter and me. I was so crabby before my trip and she was acting out. I think I've been ignoring her for the last 4 years ever since her brother was born. And then throw in the Hep C and she was feeling really left out. I've been showering her with hugs and praise lately and it's been great. More than anything, I want her to love me like I love my mom.

Speaking of my mom. ---I will try not to cry--she tidied the house before I got back from New Zealand. She talked to the kids about helping me out around the house. She explained to them that I was taking medicine that made me really tired and I need help with picking up toys. The kids have been great and I hope this honeymoon lasts for a while. She said she wished we lived closer so she could help me out more. Oh, do I ever wish that, too. Not so she can watch my kids all the time (no, really), but that I could do lunch with her and shop on a saturday afternoon like we used to do so many years ago.

She brought up some things that sort of weirded me out but I know she is getting older. Like, when she dies, she wants my daughter to get her diamond ear rings. And that my sister and I can split up her other jewelry. I mean, OMG, I know she won't be with me forever, but I'm just not ready to let her go. She is the best thing in my life next to my kids.

Tomorrow, I'm seeing a certified registered nurse practitioner (CRNP) in psychiatry. My GI doctor thinks I need to be evaluated for depression. I'm actually feeling back to normal. It's amazing what 20 mg of Paxil and a trip to New Zealand can do. I haven't imagined myself dying in over a month now. I think I'm going to be OK.

So, I'll go for now. I'm not tidying the house tonight. I'm going to go take my Paxil and drink about 3 more glasses of water.

I'm back

Rainbow over Doubtful Sound

I made it back from NZ. Had an awesome time and it helped me re-center. I'm on my 16th week and feeling OK. I think it helps that I still have wonderful memories of seeing dolphins on Doubtful Sound and staying with friends on the South Island. I hope this will carry me through for the next few weeks.

I am one who believes that with every dark cloud there is a silver lining (or in this case--a rainbow). I have to believe that things will get better.

14th shot

I got my 14th shot last night. I had a good sleep, too. The 20 mg of Paxil is kicking in and my mood is a lot better.

This weekend will be crazy as I get ready for my New Zealand trip. My mom flies in tonight and we will be busy tomorrow packing and grocery shopping. I'm excited about this trip and I'm so glad I decided to do it.

One of the women in my support group (there are 3 of us) found out she will get to continue treatment. She is genotype 1 and has had the virus for 30 years. She acquired it after a blood transfusion after an ectopic pregnancy years ago. Her second daughter got the virus from birth. I'm so happy for S! Her 12 week viral load was 52--2 away from being undetectable.