My husband returns from New Zealand tomorrow. The trip to NZ was good for me. I managed to get out of the blah and boring and pity party routine that I had succumbed to with this treatment. The 20 mg of Paxil kicked in, along with the trip and my psyche is feeling stable and happy. I hope I can maintain this with the man returning--he can be my worst critic.

This week as a single parent has flown by. My son turned 5 today and my daughter has been more helpful and pleasant. I actually feel like I've got some control over my life--even if it might be an illusion.

I met with my lady friends from the small group Bible study today. I love this group of women. There are a couple of women with grand kids and then myself with young ones. Then there are women with children in between old and new. I do get some energy from being around these like-minded women. It's great to study about God's love and remember that I'm special because of Him. When I need to feel secure and loved, I need to look to Him. It's too much of a burden on my husband and friends to be what I need. It's simply too much to ask of them. I need to lean on the one that will never let me down (thanks, Pat, for reminding me a few posts back).

My 17th shot will be tomorrow night but my Pegasys is not here yet! It seems the insurance company needed another authorization. Yep, I'm responding to the treatment and I have to be approved again. This does not make sense to me. My doctor's office came through for me and the stuff will be delivered tomorrow sometime. I guess the insurance company was hoping they wouldn't have to pay for any more drugs. I've got news for them.

So, that's it for now.