sharp knives and low platelets don't mix

I was slicing some raw carrots last night and I sliced the end of my left thumb. It took me forever to stop bleeding. It looks really nasty now. I have low neutrophils, so that means I have to make sure it doesn't get infected, either. The joys of interferon and ribavirin.

9th shot

Took my 9th shot last night. I am over a third on my way to being finished. I can't believe how lucky I am compared to some that have to do this for 48 months or 72 months. I won the lottery when it comes to having Hepatitis C. (Just trying to see the silver lining in this cloud of life).

With the exception of my 4 year old waking me up a couple of times last night, I slept fairly well. And I wake up feeling the best I do all week. I don't understand it. I wonder if my body gets to rest in making interferon after the shot and that's why I feel good the next day? There has to be some literature on this phenomenon. I tend to feel bad on Sunday. We have a busy day tomorrow and I'm hoping that tomorrow is nothing like the last few Sundays. I really want to go to church tomorrow (of course, I might wake up and want to find a hole and climb in it) and then we are going to a neighbor's Eagle Scout ceremony. The 6 year old has a birthday party and our baby sitter will have to drop her off there. To top it off, the husband wants to have people over for dinner. I'm getting tired just thinking about tomorrow.

It seems like the itchy skin is getting better. My scalp isn't as dry, either. The metallic taste seems worse, however. I eat just so I don't taste the weird taste. No wonder, I'm not losing weight. It seems like a lot of people lose weight on this treatment. I'll have to slow down on stuffing my face when this is all through lest I become a beached whale.

That's it for now. Nothing exciting to report. And that my friends, is a good thing. :)

Feeling better today

I felt good today. And it seems like my skin hasn't been as itchy as lately. Hmmm. I'm hoping things are looking up. I did manage a little rest this afternoon. I find that makes a huge difference--even if I don't actually fall asleep.

Food still has lost its appeal. But, I eat. I think I like to eat too much to stop even if it doesn't taste good. I am still craving fruit that is sweet (i.e. apples, grapes). I'm not craving chocolate so much lately. Of course, that always changes depending on the time of the month! My coffee doesn't taste good to me. The other day I had a cappuccino at Starbuck's. It was so good. I can't do that everyday. I need my coffee or I am in a big fog.

My thumb is killing me. Well, not really but it does hurt. It split on the end the other day and is slow to heal. I'm putting antibiotic ointment now and hoping that does the trick.

Update on the support group: I think there are some more patients interested in meeting. The doctor's office called today to get some details. I've made a flier so I might just drop that by tomorrow.

Grapes, anyone?

Nothing new to report. I did take a two hour nap on Monday which helped me immensely. You know when you put your head down at 11:30 am and go to sleep immediately, it must be needed. The itching is still very annoying. Arghh. The insomnia is there, too. What else? Oh, my friend, Fatigue. Yes, she is still here but I'm hoping she leaves in a couple of weeks. I think the one side effect that I read about and totally poo-pooed is the metallic taste in my mouth. Most foods taste weird. I still drink coffee, but it has a strange taste. I think I ate my weight in grapes yesterday. Yep, if something tastes yummy, I eat it until I can't eat it anymore. I bought more grapes today!

My 4 year old is having a friend over today after preschool. It's a standing playdate where the mommy doesn't come. That's fine. It's easier to let the boys play and not have to chat with a mom. I would prefer not to have the boy over, but my little guy is so bored after preschool. The mom doesn't know about the Hep C (I'm not close to her at all). I might have to cancel next week so I can have an afternoon of nothing. Speaking of the two, I need to go pick them up. Sigh. Is it summer yet? I beleive the end of July is the month that all this crap will be over.

Sunday--ho hum.

I was blah today. I think I'm noticing a pattern. It seems like two days after my shot (shot on Friday, then Sunday), I feel down. I just want to hibernate and not deal with anybody. Then by Sunday evening, I am so stir crazy. By that point, I figure why put make up on just so I can go to the grocery store? (Sorry, no matter how bad I feel, I almost always put make up on). Thank Goodness Pete is so great with all of this. He takes the kids out and lets me just relax. I am feeling a little more rested by the end of Sunday, too. I wonder if I should bump my Paxil dose up to 20 mg? The doctor said the higher the dose, the longer it takes to wean off of it at the end. I think I'll wait and see how this week goes. It could be that if I can get through the next couple weeks, I will be OK. I will find out the results of my thyroid blood test tomorrow. That could explain a lot. I hope it's OK!!!

Well, I know one thing--I should be in bed and not blogging right now! :)

Two months down.

Just gave myself the 8th shot! Two months down and 4 to go. Woo hoo! I have had a very tiresome week. I don't know if that trip to NYC is what took it out of me or not. I'm hoping I have a good night's sleep tonight. I usually do after my shot. Does anyone else have this same phenomenon happen? I sleep well and wake up rested. It's the only day of the week I feel rested.

My WBCs are a little low. The doctor said he will draw them monthly now. I think the interferon is causing this. I'm slightly anemic, too. Yawn. I know I'm like a broken record at this point.

I found out from one of my partners in crime (another patient) that there is another newbie group starting up April 24. The doctor asked him to come. I want to be asked! I realize I'm a loose cannon sometimes and the doctor is probably worried I will say something stupid. I hope they mention the support group we started. Our next meeting will be April 1st. The irony is not lost on me. :)

Behind the 8 ball...

The fatigue has been really bad the last few days. I wake up after a fitful night of sleep (if you can call it sleep) and after an hour, I want to go back to bed. I actually took a nap this past Monday around 11 am. It felt so good. I think I need to nap everyday around that time. (In a perfect world, this would be the case).

This morning I felt like I was "behind the 8 ball" as soon as I got up. I just had no energy but life continued. Get kids up. Make lunch for Kendall. Make breakfast for kids. Eat cereal so I can take ribavirin. Quickly make coffee. Drink coffee. Put makeup on. Tell kids to eat, then brush teeth. And then we were rushing out the door. I shouldn't be tired from that, but I was. :(

I was late to the bible study but didn't care. Afterward, I met my friend and her son for lunch. She could tell I was tired and offered to watch Clayton so I could rest. I took her up on it. I managed a little nap and I locked in on a new interest rate to refinance! I should have napped a lot longer....

I wasn't feeling great after dinner and decided to skip girls night out. You know you're tired when you skip girls night out.

Life does go on...

Sunny Day (or how to lift one's spirits)

The weather has been spectacular today. It really helps with me mood and energy. However, I have been really tired lately. I drove to New York City with the kids and walking around the city wore me out. I'm sure there's no way of knowing, but I wish I knew if this is as tired as I will get. Also, is my energy going to come back before treatment is finished or does it come back only after treatment is completed?

The fatigue is probably the most annoying part of this. Oh, and the itching. Arghh! I do wish food tasted normal. I have a metallic taste in my mouth most of the time. Anyway, I might go to New Zealand in May, and if I could know for sure that I won't be more tired than this right now, I would go for sure. I am almost for sure about it anyway. I've always wanted to go and with my husband's way being paid for, it's almost too good to pass up. Plus, we have friends there and we would stay with them.

I guess that's it for now. I'm still hanging in there. This Friday will be my 8th shot! Only 16 to go after that. Time flies when you're having.....fun. Yeah, right.

(B)itchy

I am so itchy! I can't stand it. And today I have been so tired. I don't know if it's due to the rainy weather or the shot of interferon I had two days ago. And I'm easily annoyed today. Arghhh!

Nothing else to report. Now, I must go and scratch!!!

Fatigue

I've been tired the last couple days. My hemoglobin is a little low and I think that's why I'm feeling it. I have to work today so I know it will be an early night for me...right after the shot. I think it will be shot #6! I really should keep up so I can count down. :)

When I say "I am a Christian"

by Carol Wimmer

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not shouting "I am saved"
I'm whispering "I get lost!"
"That is why I chose this way."

When I say..."I am a Christian"
don't speak of this with pride.
I'm confessing that I stumble
and need someone to be my guide.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not trying to be strong.
I'm professing that I'm weak
and pray for strength to carry on.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not bragging of success.
I'm admitting I have failed
and cannot ever pay the debt.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I'm not claiming to be perfect,
my flaws are too visible
but God believes I'm worth it.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I still feel the sting of pain
I have my share of heartaches
which is why I seek His name.

When I say..."I am a Christian"
I do not wish to judge.
I have no authority.
I only know I'm loved.

Why Me?

When I was first diagnosed, I'm sure the phrase "why me?" crossed my mind. After all, this was going to be my year. But, then I remembered that we all have something we have to deal with so one could ask "why not me?" After accepting it and deciding on a plan, I began the waiting game. I felt alone even though I had told friends and family. I still didn't know anyone personally, who was dealing with this.

Right now, I'm in a womens bible study and we are studying the Old Testament book, Esther. She was a Jewish orphan, raised by her cousin in Persia. She had blended in with the other people of the land. Long story short, she becomes Queen of Persia--a Jew! But, it turns out there was a decree sent out to kill all the Jews. And here was Esther, in the right place and the right time. Her cousin tell her she must tell the king about this plan to destroy the Jews. Esther 4:14 says

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

This passage speaks to me. I feel like I've come to a place in my life where I can decide to be silent or I can be proactive. I'm not royalty and I'm not talking about the Jews being destroyed, but rather, it's about setting up the support group for Hepatitis C in my town. I can't sit quietly while others are out there with no place to go, no one to talk to. I feel I need to use my bold personality to get something going, to help others. I'm no wall flower and I'm not taking this lying down.

I met with Ron and Sandy last night for our first support group meeting. Ron brought his wife. We had an awesome meeting! I could tell we all came away feeling like it's going to be OK. I ran into another patient today while walking down town. We stopped and chatted a bit. I told him about our meeting and he sounded interested.

I can answer that question now (you remember the "why me?"). I know why this happened to me. I'm meant to make a difference and help others dealing with this diagnosis, if only in giving support.

Viral Load Results...

At 4 weeks..............UNDETECTABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WBC	2.80	4.00-10.80 K/uL	L
RBC	3.78	3.85-5.15 M/uL	L
HGB	11.2	12.0-14.5 g/dL	L
HCT	31.4	36.0-44.5 %	L

These other things are being watched closely, but I'm very happy about the viral load! The doctor was so thrilled to tell me.

Local support group?

I've been pestering the doctor about a support group. He called the other patients and two of them gave him permission to give me their phone numbers. I called them on Saturday and we are going to meet next week and talk. I'm hoping this will be a start to a local support group for people with Hepatitis C. The numbers are only going to increase as my generation and the one just ahead of me gets older. More people have Hep C than HIV in the United States, but yet there is hardly any attention given to this blood-borne disease.

I think one of the hardest things with all of this is that there is no one to talk to. My husband has been understanding, but it will be invaluable to talk with someone who is going through the same thing--someone who has dealt with the same fears.

I see the doctor tomorrow and I hope to find out the 4 week viral load. To quote the doctor, "This is a big one for us."