Why Me?

When I was first diagnosed, I'm sure the phrase "why me?" crossed my mind. After all, this was going to be my year. But, then I remembered that we all have something we have to deal with so one could ask "why not me?" After accepting it and deciding on a plan, I began the waiting game. I felt alone even though I had told friends and family. I still didn't know anyone personally, who was dealing with this.

Right now, I'm in a womens bible study and we are studying the Old Testament book, Esther. She was a Jewish orphan, raised by her cousin in Persia. She had blended in with the other people of the land. Long story short, she becomes Queen of Persia--a Jew! But, it turns out there was a decree sent out to kill all the Jews. And here was Esther, in the right place and the right time. Her cousin tell her she must tell the king about this plan to destroy the Jews. Esther 4:14 says

"For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"

This passage speaks to me. I feel like I've come to a place in my life where I can decide to be silent or I can be proactive. I'm not royalty and I'm not talking about the Jews being destroyed, but rather, it's about setting up the support group for Hepatitis C in my town. I can't sit quietly while others are out there with no place to go, no one to talk to. I feel I need to use my bold personality to get something going, to help others. I'm no wall flower and I'm not taking this lying down.

I met with Ron and Sandy last night for our first support group meeting. Ron brought his wife. We had an awesome meeting! I could tell we all came away feeling like it's going to be OK. I ran into another patient today while walking down town. We stopped and chatted a bit. I told him about our meeting and he sounded interested.

I can answer that question now (you remember the "why me?"). I know why this happened to me. I'm meant to make a difference and help others dealing with this diagnosis, if only in giving support.